Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
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all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
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Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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