i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
