Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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