So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
