She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
