So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
