dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
