..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
