I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
