my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
