I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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