we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
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Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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