i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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