hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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