I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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