I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
