My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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