ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
