Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
