Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
