But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
