DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
