i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
