I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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