eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
