I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
