It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
