I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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