I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
