I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
