think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
home. puking in laundry basket.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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