We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
