Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
