good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
