Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize