FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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