K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
