I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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