sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
