What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
