Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Come share oat with me in your robe
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
