Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
