GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
