just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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