i wish my penis had a tongue
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize