I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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