He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
