how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
