i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
