Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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