it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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