We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
