he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
