yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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