Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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