would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
