Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
