I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
