she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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