It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
