Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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