haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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