Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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