U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
