If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I touched a dick in church today
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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