and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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