It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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