Will you blow on my dice?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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